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September 19, 2006
Whither gone the visionary gleam?
We read stories of clergy men who have been faithful priests in the Anglican Tradition and leave to join Rome and stories of Laity in search of a lasting place leaving their tradition for Rome. Perhaps the doctrinal security and the conservatism provides a safe haven in Rome! The question remains: Why leave a small Anglican church in order to be lost in the anonymity of numbers when we can foster the faith once given to the saints through our Anglican tradition?
My life has been the other way around. Having been in Rome since my childhood, nay almost until a decade after my priesthood, I have seen the way authority and autocracy have left several priests and seminarians in a make or break situation. I've seen favoritism, powermongering, abuse of authority, etc. destroy a genuine calling to the priesthood. Some of these misguided leaders of the church are under the impression that they have total contol over the other just because the other has given his will over to God under the vow of obedience. This tends to make many naiive ministers, literally slaves, not to Christ and His kingdom, but to the few autocrats. In the case of laity, people who because of their lives' situation have met with divorce, have hope of neither salvation nor any sacramental means to the same. Or the righteous feeling, "nulla salus ex ecclesia" no salvation outside the church - often seems to be exclusively claimed, so that Christians from other denomination are made to squirm. On the part of the self-righteous, somewhere in the subconscious, there is often a feeling that I am one up or better than you. These are not just thoughts but have been true attitudes of some devout Roman Catholics who still think that I am doomed because I am no longer with the Roman church. One of them is still praying for my soul.
Against this backdrop, I think of my mother. If there was one who should have been utterly bitter and angry, it should have been her. A very devout catholic who did not miss the daily mass even up to today, at age 83. She is very proud of my, continuation in the priesthood. She tells me that soon after I met with an accident and I was dismissed from my duties as a priest, she went on her knees on a Maundy Thursday and prayed for my persistence in my vocation as a priest. This was four years ago. Even till today, she remembers her supplication to the Lord and is thankful that He answered her prayers. She saw me off when I was 14 as I left for the minor seminary. Next to God, she knew how much I cherished my calling.
I believe in holy catholic and apostolic church: This is the creed that I professed when I was a Roman and now as an Anglican. The bottom line is that I am a catholic – that I hold on to the universal truth of the historic faith in Jesus as handed down through the apostles and early fathers of the church. This is the bedrock of my belief, the belief that has been fostered by many a martyr with their blood and many a saint with the daily grind of life lived faithfully for His Kingdom and His cause.
No matter what denomination we belong to, the best thing is to leave the judgement part to the Almighty and each of us strive to do our utmost for the Highest. It is sad, that some are called to belong to this elitistic society, where heaven is guaranteed only for self and no other, either by way of attitudinal arrogance or by suicidal accomplishments of terrorists.
Anglicanism, is certainly a mid stream between the Roman church and the protestant church, heading towards the destination, without getting stuck on either side of the banks, having the faith nurtured through Scripture, Sacraments and Reasoning, enabling us to decipher the will of God, we can safely sail across. In the meantime if there are friends whom we have missed, let us remember to pray for them, hoping that we all will meet someday at Jesus' feet. I am still content that we are noticed in the smallness of our churches and are not lost in the obscurity of anonimity. We all can be the mustard seed that Jesus speaks of, tiny yet potent, capable of growing into little trees or shrubs giving nests for the birds of the air. Do not be ashamed if you belong to a small church, keep doing the good job, continue investing into the kingdom to come, by loving God and your neighbor.
Strange, born in India in a populace of 1.2 billion of which only 2.6% is Christian against 82% of Hindus, the land of spirituality, the land of Gandhi and sages that I grew up as a Roman Catholic. Went to an RC school, taught by great nuns and Montfort brothers and faithful teachers--Great teachers, wonderful influences, something that I will never forget. So much so, I remember visiting with this nun who was in her late seventies, whose shoes I used to get in as a kid, of which my sister will still make fun of me. There she was a granny. This nun wanted me to stay after school and she offered me a snack so that I could stay there for the evening eucharist and then go home. My mom certainly knew I was in safe hands. God bless this nun who shared with me His care and kindness.
Wanting to be a priest: That was my calling as a kid and therefore no nonsense! I remember leaving home in March of 1976 for the vocation camp.
I went naively with high hopes. Its strange how authority was an abuse in the middle ages and even now. The saints who recommended a spiritual way of life, saw in one’s will, the willingness to submit to authority and obey. Some of the veterans would know the system of watering the dry stick – just out of sheer obedience and not to ask the reason why. It was that kind of obedience that was inculcated in me or any novice. Could you imagine authority transferring into wrong hands, a person who could care less for God’s will and instead purely reflecting one’s own instinct. That certainly happened in my situation.
So, I am content as an Anglican where authority is reflected in servitude and I am glad to be a servant. If you are an Anglican/Episcopal priest, please do not give up your call. You have so much to offer within this Anglican catholic faith. So many souls to be cared for. And certainly the Good Lord's blessings will be yours.
Posted by frleo at September 19, 2006 11:22 PM
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